Only Pussies Smoke Menthols

Chapter III
Only Pussies Smoke Menthols

Jolting back into consciousness, the helmet was pulled back off her head. Rin panted as she checked for a wound, ready to hold pressure onto it. But there was nothing. No knife, no blood, no pain - just Kumata, the pervy scruff of a technician, and the rest of the lab’s occupants standing around her like they had been watching a World Cup’s final penalty which was still mid-air.

“Rin Taaannnn~” Kumata’s upper half flopped on top of the redhead and wailed.

The air was forced out of her lungs due to the weight of the Ayakashi floundering over her stomach. Waiting until the bear was pulled away, Rin exhaled as if she was expelling everything that had been on her mind for the past thirteen years. Head falling back onto the leather rest, the female felt a sense of pride at her accomplishment and the room’s occupants cheered at the success.

In all of the years that Oblivion had been around - which has been an insurmountable time - there had never been such a result. Of course, people had stabbed themselves, but only out of cowardice once they met their inner demons - which resulted in them being sent elsewhere. But nobody had ever been logical enough to plunge a knife into their gut, accepting their shortcomings and willing to prepare for a second round. Every few hundred years, there was a handful of special candidates that passed that test in a spectacular fashion. This era looked like it was going to be interesting indeed.

Head buzzing, Rin massaged the back of her neck. “What are my results? Give it to me straight, Doc.”

The brunet idiot-slapped the female down across the head. “You’re not dying!” Irritation instantly disappearing from his face, the assistant held out his hand, “Get up.”

Accepting the gesture and jumping off the machine that did actually turn out to be a torture device, Rin was glad to be on solid ground. Standing beside her aide and Kumata with her legs like jelly, the redhead’s sight was gestured to the sixty-inch screen which they’d been watching during her trial.

There was a calculating screen for a few seconds, and then several pages loaded. Using the remote in his hand, the brunet flicked to the first page. Reading aloud, the male nodded to himself. “Your physical health seems to be decent besides vitamin and iron deficiency. Mentally,” he paused and looked down on the redhead with a sidewards glower. “you’re a freakin’ nutcase.”

Jumping around to face him with her back up, Rin spat and pointed at the statistics as she glared at him, “where’s it say that?”

Ignoring the spasm, the brunet continued. “Health wise, you’re perfectly able to go into fieldwork.” Going to the next page, the screen was filled with nothing but incomprehensible numbers and figures - Something that boggled Rin’s brain just after a brief glance. “Physical Agility, Stamina and Defence are average, Attack, above average. Mental stats are passable; all are average and above apart from Defence, which needs some work.”

Marking down the numbers on his clipboard, Kumata sighed with a smile as he turned to the female. “I’m glad you’re okay, Rin Tan.”

“Wait,” The brunet cut in before any celebration could come to fruition. Brows furrowed he refreshed the third page. “There’s something wrong.”

“I’m dying, aren’t I?” The redhead instantly dropped into a crouching position and held her head with wide eyes.

“Shut up, you’re already dead.” The brunet rolled his eyes before turning his attention to Kumata. “She barely scraped an A ranking with her Qi, but her Potential ranking is inconclusive.”

“What’s that mean?” Rin glanced to the bear, but he only shrugged.

Pushing his mop of hair off his face, the brunet looked at the redhead. “I’ve only seen it once before in person. The machine was probably unable to register all of your data considering how you completed the test.”

“The most likely case is that your potential can not be ranked because of your unorthodox approach, Rin Tan.”

“Most likely?” Rin looked between the pair with anxiety in her eyes. “Are you saying that it could be something else?”

“It’s nothing for you to worry about.” Patting the woman on top of her head roughly, the brunet plucked a cigarette from the breast pocket of his lab coat. “Contractors and Ayakashi have to take part in regular mandatory health checks, so if anything out of the ordinary does happen to come up, we’ll deal with it then.” Sparking the end of a slim white stick, the assistant placed his free hand on his hip.

“Then...What now?”

Flapping his hand over his shoulder, the assistant called one of his colleagues. “Hey, Mitsu, get a contacting system synced.” Turning back to the redhead, the brunet held the remote up to the TV with a bright smile. “Now comes one of the most important moments for a Contractor. You get to pick your first and Official Ayakashi.”

“It can be anyone?” Rin’s eyes sparkled as she awaited with butterflies in her stomach.

“Based on your results, plus the information that was input from your written profile, you will be given a list of Ayakashi to choose from. Pick carefully, as you can’t change it. Well,” he scratched his head as he looked away with a strange expression on his face. “Unless you go through The Council, but you don’t want to do that.”

Excitedly, Rin almost vibrated on the spot. “Show me then.”

Clicking the final page, the brunet gawked. Kumata would have urinated in his pants, if he had pants - or was able to use his bladder functions, and Rin was just disappointed. There was no doubt, the darkness of an anti-climax shrouded the trio.

“How am I supposed to choose when there is only one option?” Rin refrained from stomping her foot like a toddler.

“T-that’s not what you should be worried about. Or is it us that should be worried?” The assistant fretted, looking around as he tried to think of a legitimate reason for this to be happening.

“Oh...Rin Tan...” Kumata hung his head, seemingly in apology.

“What? What’s going on?” The redhead was beginning to panic at the solemn faces of the two stood either side of her.

“Now I remember,” The brunet choked as he held the top of his head with both hands. “Mikoto,” he spun around with crazy eyes upon recalling the only other previous time this situation had happened.

Kumata held his paws up at his chest with even more worry in his voice than usual. “Shimizu Tan, please don’t set your hair on fire again...”

“What? Who?” Stomping her foot, Rin demanded answers. “Tell me why you’re both freaking out? What does that,” she pointed at the scrabble of graphs, numbers, and symbols on the screen. “mean? What’s going on?” Gripping Shimizu by the shoulder to stop him from pacing, the redhead smacked the brunet across the side of the head with some force.

Instantly stopping, teeth like razors bared and eyes blank, the brunet spat. “What was that for?”

Finger up her nose as she looked away, Rin drawled. “Your perm was on fire.”

Gripping the woman by the cloth covering her chest, the brunet rolled his words like a thug. “It’s naturally like this.”

“On fire, or permed?” The redhead batted back, imitating his drawn-out slang.

“Please stop fighting,” Kumata reverted to his timid self. Twiddling his paws with his head down, the bear tensed up. “Rin Tan, you should be glad you got such a strong Contract.”

Head shooting to attention, the brunet glowered up. “How should she be glad? Every one of her contractors since 1889 has met untimely ends. I don’t see how she should be happy.”

Shrugging her hoodie into the proper position from the attack, Rin straightened up. Composing herself, the redhead had to ask. “What kind of person is she?”

“Scary-” Was the vague but utterly unanimous call as all who spoke avoided eye-contact.

Flapping his hand and then flipping the world off in general, Shimizu turned his nose up. “She’s not a person, she’s an Ayakashi.”

“Kumata is an Ayakashi, too, but he’s still a person.” Rin told and the entire room stopped. She sensed something was wrong, but she couldn’t pin it. In this day and age, even in this world, there wasn’t still some kind of stigma against another race, right?

“Kumata is a docile, low level Ayakashi - No trouble will ever come from him. But treat any of them - Out there - as if they’re like us, and you will have a problem.” Walking over to his work-station, Shimizu retrieved his ashtray before turning to face the female again.

Brows furrowed, the female placed her hands on her hips. “Excuse me?”

“Ayakashi are not humans. They’re beasts.” Stubbing his vice out in the small glass tray, the brunet exhaled the final puff of smoke. “They live to either ruin mankind, or to help us get rid of that cancer. They may sometimes act like us, but they are not us.”

“Well,” straightening up, Rin fixed her hoodie and tossed her hair over her shoulder, “I’d rather take my chances with a race that has treat me with nothing but respect, than a human who denies and ostracises another type of being before even getting to know them.”

Placing his tray back down, the brunet peered up with his right brow quirked. “You’re gonna get hurt if you get too attached to them.”

Standing her ground in what she felt was beginning to turn into some kind of battle, Rin tilted her head with a sneer. “I’ve done nothing but hurt for a long time. I’ve decided that maybe making a friend that is a little more durable is probably a good idea.”

“They’re not humans.”

Flicking her hood up over her head, Rin stuck her hands in her pockets. Feeling the slim switch-blade which she always carried along with her, the redhead shrugged. “Neither are we...Any more...”

Giving up on the futile conversation, Shimizu mirrored the gesture. “Before Kumata takes you to the one you matched with, I need you to sign some papers.”

“Hand them over then,” She extended her hand expectantly, her attitude cold.

“Shimizu San, what you asked for.” A tech worker held out a tray holding a metallic device and a small black booklet which could be confused for a passport.

Accepting the stuff of the tray, the addressed turned back to the woman. “I’m sorry we can’t agree on our outlooks.” Holding out a device that looked exactly the same as a smartphone, Shimizu scratched the back of his head whilst avoiding eye-contact. “This is your lifeline; don’t lose or break it.” Handing it over, he continued his explanation. “It already has every important number you need, important apps; everything you need is on it.” After the redhead had taken the device from him, the brunet handed over the Passport. “This is your new human ID. Whenever you go to the human world, you will need it. Don’t lose or forget it.” Returning to his seat, he waved his hand over his shoulder. “You’ve been assigned to the Dispatch Department. Kumata will explain everything you need to know on the way to collecting your Ayakashi.” Dropping down in his chair, the brunet began typing away, the same as he had been when she’d arrived.

Kumata rested his paw on the redhead’s shoulder. “Rin Tan, the sooner we get this over with, the better.”

The redhead turned back to the bear which had helped her so far. “By the way...” Rin paused and spared a glower to Shimizu’s back, “only pussies smoke menthols.”

Without even waiting for a reply, Rin marched for the door with the Ayakashi in tow. As soon as she’d made it out into the hallway which now seemed cold in comparison to the dark room filled with electrical equipment, the female stared out of the window parallel to the door, and across the foreign land through the stretching glass wall. The mechanical security of the tech room door locking shut prompted her to speak.

“I’m really dead, aren’t I?” She asked, more to herself than anyone else but the bear still shifted as if he wanted to comment. “Go ahead; I’m not the kind of person who gets mad at honesty.” She told, literally feeling the conflict radiating from behind her.

“You spoke out for Ayakashi.”

“I’ve met one Ayakashi and two humans since being here. The humans have been pricks and you, Kumata San, have looked after me.” Shifting so she could lean her elbow on the steel barrier which was a few inches from the window, she rested her chin on her up-propped palm while celedon irises scanned the world which she now belonged to. “I already know how humans behave, and I don’t like it.”

“You’re forgetting someone.”

“Hm?” She glanced back over her shoulder to see the tawny animal with its head down.

“You met someone very important before me. He is also one of us; an Ayakashi.”

Rin tried to remember. Trawling through her memories before the trauma of the second test and the obnoxious assistant and receptionist, she suddenly recalled the shota. “Oh Usaga-maru?”

“Really, Rin Tan, you are practically the Goddess of Luck.” The stuffing in the bears cheeks were pushed up as he tried to smile. “His name was Usagichimaru Katsuo, and he’s a very well-known Ayakashi.”

“He looked human to me.”

“Higher ranked Ayakashi, usually, were once human. Or a celestial being’s aide, so it shouldn’t be that much of a surprise that they look like what you consider to be human.”

“At this point, Kumata San, I don’t know if anything can surprise me.”

“I’m glad you’re so optimistic, Rin Tan.”

Updated: 8th February 2020 - 15:24