Chapter 1.

Rated M
by Destiel
Tags   drama   original   comedy   hurtcomfort   mmorpg   gaming   | Report Content

A A A A

Tossing her keys on the mantle and kicking the door closed behind her, the Amazonian homeowner undid her ponytail of crimson locks and kicked off her four inch stilettos. Scoffing at the mound of letters in her hand, she threw them on the mantle beside her keys and strode towards the kitchen. Pulling an already open bottle of Chianti from the fridge, she shrugged off her jacket and slung it over a bar stool. Plucking the cork from the bottle, she tilted it back and took a sip of the sweet wine as she strolled through the home to her bedroom.

 

Plopping down on the massive bed, she unzipped her jeans and shoved them down to her ankles to flail around until they came off. Hearing the familiar ping from her omni device, she pressed the button on the bracelet and the screen projected above her arm, telling her she had an incoming call from Kahlan. Putting the bottle between her legs and pressing answer, she struggled with unclasping her bra as the call went through. “If you answered in the middle of sex again I swear I’m gonna beat your ass”

 

Chuckling at her friends’ usual husky voice, she finally unclasped her bra and pulled the garment free from her shirt. “Nah, I was taking my bra off” Kahlan clucked her tongue at her and she heard the flick of a lighter in the background. “Did you just get home?” the other girl asked, receiving a hum from the redhead in response. “One'a those days, eh?” Kahlan surmised, already knowing that she’d had a bad day without her having to explain. “I fuckin' hate people” she drawled, bringing the bottle to her lips again.

 

“I know what'll make ya feel better” The husky female chimed in a sing-song voice. Swallowing the mouthful of alcohol, she wiped her mouth with the back of her hand. “What?” she gulped. “The Haroh update came in this mornin', I've waited to play 'til ya logged on” Doing a jig that looked more like a seizure, the redhead pulled up her Omni menu and searched for who else in their guild was online. “Party hard - Wait, Have you and Sling been waitin' for me all day?”

 

The sound of a lighter being flicked again followed by a brief inhale came before she spoke. “Nah, Sling just got back from work, and I didn't wake up 'til about an hour ago” Taking another swig of her wine, she opened her mouth to speak and let out an unexpected belch. Apologizing, she continued. “You wanna invite Sling to chat until the others get on?”

 

Humming a reply, Kahlan sent out the invite and the two waited barely even a full minute before the third member of their group joined in. “Hey Lio, sup Kahl.” He spoke with a muffled voice as if he had food in his mouth. “You got a dick in your mouth or you just never learned any manners?” Kahlan shot, causing Lio to nearly choke to death in surprise. “Laugh it up all you want, but you’re just jealous I get more action than your hermit ass”

 

Sighing at the typical banter between the two like high school students, Lio would usually let them go on and piss off Shedim but she was too excited about the update to listen to it right now. “Can you two pack it in until the others log on? We’ve only got ten minutes until everyone’s back on and I’m in some serious need for raiding.” She could practically feel the glares she got but they chose to heed her advice and left it alone. “We logging in or saying on chat? ‘cause I’m finished eating and good to go”
 

“Yeah, gimme a sec to go to the toilet” Kahlan muted her mic and left the two alone on the chat. “How was your day, Lio?” Sling asked. Pulling her hair into a messy bun so she could put the virtual reality visor on without pulling hair out again, she grunted. “Absolute shit, yours?” he sucked his teeth. “Pretty much the same, but now that you’re on my day got infinitely better” she opened her mouth to reply, but was interrupted by the sound of Kahlan making gagging noises to signal she was back. “You’re a jerk” Sling whined, receiving a snort from the husky voiced woman.

 

“And you’re a lil’ bitch. So, we ready to do this?” Both Sling and Lio hummed their agreement and there was shuffling around on everyone’s end as they got in a comfortable position to lie in. Lying back in her own bed, Lio plucked the VR visor from her nightstand that looked hardly any different from a pair of sunglasses besides the fact that they were entirely metal and you couldn’t see through them and slipped them on, adjusting herself so she was completely relaxed in her bed and then pressed the button on the right side of her visor just below her temple.

 

She felt her mind expand, leaving her body behind in an almost astral projection state where she was transported into the wonderful world of Gahenna. Taking a deep breath of the virtually modified air and opening her eyes, she was welcomed with the ceiling of the Inn she’d stayed in last night before logging off. Pushing herself up from the simple cot, she glanced around the room and its simplistic furnishings like that of a log cabin.

 

Hearing the distinct sound of knuckles being popped, she looked to her side to see the voluptuous white haired girl she shared a room with practically sprinting out of bed in her glee. “I don’t think I’ve seen you this excited since Frude took you on for a duel” Lio joked, sitting up herself and pulling up her inventory on her omni to change out of her pajama’s. Shrugging, Kahlan did the same with her omni and went from wearing a tank top and boy shorts to her full armored dress. “I’m just tired of staying in inn’s all the time; I can’t wait to actually have a Guild hall that we can fuck shit up with”

 

Equipping her own armor and rolling her shoulders to adjust to the familiar weight of it all, Lio went over how many arrows she had in stock and kept a mental note to go grab some more from her chest at the bank. “I can’t believe we all managed to not buy a basic Guild hall for four years – Then again, with how many people hate us I’d say it’s pretty much a given that we’d be constantly under attack” she mumbled the last part, her attention divided between talking and reading.

 

Kahlan snorted and was about to retort when the door was knocked on. “You two done yet?” Sling yelled from the other side. The two girls strode to the door and Kahlan flung it open, smacking Sling right in the face. Strutting off as if she didn’t see what had just happened, Kahlan disappeared down the hall with Lio following and trying to suppress her laughter.

 

Making their way out of the Inn, Lio took in the beautiful sight of Shina. The port city was bustling as usual with players and NPC’s galore, the markets packed full of people buying the latest shipments of whatever they needed for a future raid. The ships horns blew and the salty smell of seawater mixed with various street foods cooking permeated the air, the chattering of players and the occasional bark or caw from a pet keeping the city loud and vibrant.

 

Lio could never understand why people got used to this, she felt like Alice experiencing Wonderland every time she stepped foot in the massive world of Gahenna and took in the sights of the multiple cities and its badlands. To her, Gahenna was an escape from reality, a place she could go to truly be herself without worrying over silly things like how people perceived her or pleasing some douchebag just so she could get a check from him so she could turn around and do it again. She loved this place.

 

It was her home more so than anywhere she’d ever been, and she had something here that she’d never had in reality – Family. Her Guild was the first place she actually felt welcome in her entire life, the first place she was able to be just Lio without fear of people judging her. The Guild was her life, her family, and her home.

 

“C’mon, Lio. We only have about five more minutes before Shed joins and bitches about claiming his room.” Kahlan pulled her out of her thoughts and grabbed her arm, yanking her towards the portal at the center of the city. Taking one last final look at Shina and its happy atmosphere, Lio was flung straight through the portal and came out on the other side with a chill.

 

The city (More like a wasteland, to be honest) of Haroh was a stunning sight no matter how many times you saw it. With the entire landscape being a vast desert with rich, blood red sand and purple skies swirling in constant turmoil. Red lightning flashed in the sky and thunder shook the earth beneath them, the never changing black moon looming in the night sky like an ominous presence ready to strike.

 

The air was charged with electricity and a chill that left goosebumps on your flesh, the entire desert giving off a menacing vibe that tended to terrify new players. Turning her head to the left, Lio saw Kahlan bolting for the massive obsidian city, the black stone walls gleaming in the light like teeth of a viscous hound.

 

Haroh wasn’t exactly the happiest of cities, what with its constant mob of monsters trolling the wasteland and the fact that Player Killing was allowed freely inside its city walls. Most players avoided it at all costs, not wanting to wade through the PK’ing and mobs just to get inside the dangerous place. For the guild, however. Haroh became home pretty much the instant they all were met with the brutal city and its darker races, but up until a few hours ago – They didn’t allow Guild homes to be bought here due to its high level of difficulty.

 

The guild had waited four years to buy a Guild hall, pooling 50% of each players’ earnings into a bank account just for the day Gahenna released a newer, darker Guild hall that they deemed worthy. Sure, there were other Guild halls that would’ve been fine. But no matter how expensive and lavish the hall was – it always seemed to be missing a certain flair that belonged to their guild.

 

Following after her friend with Sling soon popping in through the portal behind her, they caught up with Kahlan a few minutes later as she stood in front of the cities massive cathedral staring up at it with a look of sheer wonderment. “What’s up, Kahl?” Lio asked, unsure of why her friend was acting the way she was. “It’s for sale” the blonde spoke in almost a whisper, turning around slowly to grin at the two with an unsettling grin on her lips.

 

“But wouldn’t that mean that no one could get married in Haroh anymore?” Lio asked, gazing up at the beautiful architecture of the building. “No, it says here that with the new update they allow guilds to purchase businesses and such and use them as their halls while also profiting from them.” Lio’s gaze slid down to Kahlan, scrolling intently through the hologram panel from her omni device. “So wait, we’d make money from each player that got married?” Sling questioned; his left eye twitching like it usually did when he got excited. Nodding, Kahl continued. “And the guild is allowed to get married for free – regardless of how expensive it is ‘cause we’d literally own the whole thing.”

 

Doing a jig, Lio tottered over to the white haired female and peeked over her shoulder. “How many rooms does it have?” Kahl was silent for a minute as she scrolled through the information. “Holy shit, there’s 42 rooms including a main hall, dining hall, training room, showers, battle room and kitchen” the two girls looked at each other in awe and high fived. “What else does it have? A guild bank?” Sling asked, half-jokingly.

“Yeah, as soon as we buy it, all our things from the bank are immediately transferred to the guild bank which will be stored in each individual players’ room.” Gob smacked, Sling gestured wildly at the Cathedral and sputtered. “How much is it if we get all that?” Grinning at him, Kahl held up the panel and showed him the price written in bold numbers.

 

Jaw going slack, Sling stared wide-eyed at the screen and made weird noises as if he couldn’t even speak. “But if it’s only 50 million, with how much we still have stored away we can all buy the upgrades for each room and still have money left over” Lio mumbled, a brilliant smile spreading across her face. “I’m buying it, Shed’ll be on in a few and I want to pick my room before he starts bitching” Kahl pressed the purchase button and instantly the chains holding the door locked were gone, and a sign right above the massive doors reading ‘Kaleidoscope Guild Hall’ in neat letters appeared.

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BrokenAbyssChain  on says about chapter 3:
I'm re-reading this for the third time because I miss it. It still makes me laugh the same as it did the first time. There really is no wonder why everyone wants us dead when were sarcastic cunts to even our own guild members.

Chap 3: Frude likes to shove his shiny rod in people's faces....

BrokenAbyssChain  on says:
Look the _____ at you! Finally. I've been dying for this.

When I read the title and tagline, I imaging some twisted hybrid of Alice in Wonderland, KHR - where we're all colour coded for your convience, and SAO (but not _____ty).

I liked the description, but now I'm just sat here in a towel, pouting.

"Take to video games as a form of expression" = being a destructive little _____ and hacking people up online because they can't get away with it in real life.

"Irrational hatred of cats." ....I can see that being the single, most ridiculous thing that manages to make us work together because we're both sure we're better than each other. Like, a huge argument in the middle of a fight, we're all gonna die, and we dgaf until someone mentions that fact. Then we do the "Wassup, bro" nod.

I read non-diagnosed as non digested....And the fact he's using a throw-away camera instead of his phone - I think it makes it all the more hilarious.
But...BUT - the _____'s the same level as me ¬¬ I SEE YOU AS MY ENEMY! ...............Among other things...................

Well, that is an interesting cast, to say the least.

All you have to do now is post chapters and not keep me hanging like a rabid dog surrounded by meat it can't have.

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