Chapter One: Nothing But Memories

     I still remember the last time I saw Lord Sesshomaru face to face. Back then I thought we would be together forever. I never thought that the visits would stop. I never thought that he would refuse to see me. I never thought it would come down to visits from Jakin who would bear gifts from Lord Sesshomaru like a new kimono or hair piece.

     But I still remember that day...

 

     "Lord Sesshomaru!" I called out gleefully. I jogged up the small hill filled with flowers to find Lord Sesshomaru standing under a cherry blossom tree, a neutral expression on his face. I felt good the moment the very ends of his lips went up. He never gave a full smile, but this was enough for me.

     I stopped several feet away from him to catch my breath.

     "You look well Rin." His deep voice spoke to me in a calm manner. I looked up at him with a huge smile on my face, but his smile disappeared and he grabbed ahold of my arm, lifting it into the air and making the sleeve of my kimono fall back to my upper arm. His eyes landed on the now exposed cut that went from my elbow to a spot only inches away from my wrist. "What happened Rin?"

     His gold eyes narrowed at me, leaving me speechless for a long moment. "I fell. I know I shouldn't have been in the armory, but I was looking for Kohaku; I didn't want him to be late to supper." I could tell that he didn't believe the excuse, but I aslo knew that he wouldn't press the issue as long as I seemed fine and able. I knew I couldn't tell him the truth of what I was doing with Kohaku.

     "You are fourteen, correct Rin?" Lord Sesshomaru looked me up and down after releasing my arm.

     "Yes I am Lord Sesshomaru." I replied before stepping back from him. "For my birthday last week you sent me this beautiful pink kimono! It fits a little snug across my chest, but it is beautiful regardless!" I twirled in the kimono for him. "Thank you very much Lord Sesshomaru." I bowed my head to the great Dog Demon Lord.

     "Rin, do you intend to marry soon?" I blinked at this question. I then found my gaze drifting out across the field of flowers. "Rin."

     "Not at the moment Lord Sesshomaru. Kaede's health is begining to decline and Kagome needs me to help her and Kaede. I also haven't given much thought to marriage." I moved a piece of my black hair back behind my ear. Lord Sesshomaru looked at me a long moment before nodding. He took a seat next to the cherry blossom tree.

     "Come Rin." I felt my smile reappear as I took a seat only inches away from Lord Sesshomaru. "How have you been Rin?" He looked down at me with that open gaze on his face. I felt myself relax as much as possible as I began to ramble on and on about things happening in the village and the villages around us.

     Time always flew when I sat wih Lord Sesshomaru. The sun began to set so I stood quickly after Lord Sesshomaru did so. "I will walk you to the village; it is dangerous to be out at night by yourself." He put a hand on the top of my head which now reached his chest instead of his waist. I had begun to grow in every way possible.

     Darkness had yet to fall upon us, but even with the light of the setting sun I didn't see the protruding tree root. My foot caught in it, a squeal leaving my mouth while my body rushed forward. "Rin!" I had already started to fall down the small muddy hill when my name was called.

     I thumped against something warm. I opened my eyes and glanced up at Lord Sesshomaru's face. He lifted his head off of the ground and looked at me with concerned eyes. I sat up, my legs on either side of him. I looked behind him to see the muddy mess he had fallen in for my sake.

     I felt my lips part and tears brimmed my eyes. "I'm sorry Lord Sesshomaru. Because of me your clothes are now muddy." I lowered my head in apology. His reply came in the form of an odd grunt. I looked up at him again, blinking my eyes innocently. "Lord Sesshomaru?" He kept staring at me as I sat on him.

     "Rin, get off." He spoke in a cold tone. I felt myself flush as I hurried off of him, pulling down the end of my kimono. I noticed that Lord Sesshomaru had pink cheeks as he stood up and adjusted his swords.

     "I am so sorry my Lord!" I bowed to him again.

     "Let's go Rin." Lord Sesshomaru turned on his heel, heading in the direction of the village. I remained quiet through the remainder of the walk back. I looked to the setting sun fearing that I would be late and make Kohaku mad for making him wait. I felt my lips scrunch up as the indecision to leave Lord Sesshomaru and go ahead or to stay with him a little longer battled it out in my head.

     Surely if I stayed with Lord Sesshomaru a little longer Kohaku would understand.

     "Why are you making such a face?" I snapped to attention at Lord Sesshomaru's question.

     "What face?" I feigned great innocence.

     "Rin, I am not as easily fooled as humans." I gave a small laugh at this. "You are growing much yet you are such a child." I frowned as he ruffled my hair. I couldn't understand why but I got upset by this comment.

     "I'm not a child anymore. I've died I don't know how many times, I've become a village healer, I do things other girls my age can't even imagine doing, and I traveled with you, a great Demon Lord, how am I a child?" I crossed my arms over my chest. I watched an almost full smile appear on Lord Sesshomaru's face.

     My breath caught in my throat and my heart began to beat irregularly while I gazed upon his almost fully smiling face. "I'm just now seeing that you are no longer a child Rin. This is a change I don't quite understand or know how to deal with." Then he did the unthinkable.

     Lord Sesshomaru pulled me to him, into a hug. He pulled me back enough to kiss my forehead saying, "You are something I don't understand. Take care until I return Rin." As fast as he came he left. My heart swelled with a feeling I had never before felt. I couldn't stop smiling the rest of the night; not even when Kohaku scolded me.

     Lord Sesshomaru meant the world to me.

 

     Four years.

     It has been four years since that day. I don't know why Lord Sesshomaru stopped visiting after that and I highly doubt I ever will. It hurt as the days went by and the rejections to be seen piled up, but I powered through. It has made me who I am today.

     All I have to do is remember that that day is nothing but a memory.

     I have to remember that each day spent with Lord Sesshomaru is nothing but memories.