Demons

The constant buzzing of my phone made my eyes snap open, anger running through me as the little cow continued buzzing. The night had been hard on me, insomnia hitting my deepest thoughts, digging out lost memories, keeping me thinking about a future I worried far too much. A future that, without any choice, it was coming, sooner or later. And now, after exactly half an hour of catching dear sleep, my phone started buzzing, interrupting my far too light sleep. With an angry hiss, I lazily moved until my hand reached the table. My clock fell and a few photos I had on my nightstand met the floor as I searched for my phone with my eyes closed.

Not even looking at the screen, I slid my finger through the screen and pressed the phone to my cheek. “Are you bleeding to death?” I asked in the meanest tone I could muster. I heard the person hesitating a bit before answering.

“No.” He said. I opened my eyes at the familiar voice. “That’s how I’m being greeted now?”

“Andy, I didn’t knew you were in town.” I said as I sat up, a smile forming at the corner of my lips.

“In town and at your porch.” He said. “Gonna let me in?”

“Here? Now?” I said as I looked at myself. My attire wasn’t the most appropriate to greet the most important man in my life, not to mention, one of the most important men in the whole nation.

“Wearing the sexy nighties again?” He said and I blushed.

“No.” I said as I stood up, taking out my transparent babydoll and quickly grabbing some sweat pants and a tank top. “I’ll open now.”

“It’s cold, hurry.” He said and ended the call. I gulped and quickly put the clothes and ran out of my room. Suddenly conscious of my appearance, I stood in front of a full panel mirror at my living room and fixed my hair. Loud knocks were heard on the door, and I moved quickly, stopping in front of the door to catch my breath before opening it.

“What took you so long?” He said as he walked in. I gulped as I looked at him. As usual, he was dressed in black, black skinny jeans and a black t-shirt with a black jacket over it. It was cold indeed, and I quickly shut the door closed to end the cold breeze entering my house.

“I was changing myself.” I said as I locked the door. Andy chuckled and turned around, taking out his jacket and throwing it on my sofa.

“Bummer.” He said and moved to throw himself on my sofa. “I came to crash, my house’s full and I don’t feel like meeting anyone.”

“Full? I thought Juliet was in town, why aren’t you spending your time with her?” I said as I moved to sit next to him. He shrugged and lifted his legs, so I would sit down. He put his legs over my lap and rested his head on both his hands.

“Full because there was a gig tonight. A gig you didn’t went to.” He said, pointing an accusing finger towards me. I raised an eyebrow and crooked my head.

“I didn’t know.” I said defensively and he narrowed his eyebrows, his blue eyes deepening as he frowned.

“Sure, I emailed you the flyer. Thanks for ignoring my emails.” He said. I felt a pang of guilt inside of me, slowly eating me. I hadn’t checked my email lately. Not since he started dating Juliet. Every email I would get was some sort of news saying how happy they were or how cute they were. Or even interviews they did together. That wasn’t exactly what I wanted to see on my email, yet, those news arrived, spreading like a sickness.

“I apologize, I didn’t checked my email, whining bitch.” I said and he laughed.

“I need to make that dictionary of yours. I think I’ll be a millionaire in no time.” He said, moving slightly as he tried to accommodate his body on my small sofa. He was a huge man, skinny, but tall, with a good six foot and three inches tall, contrary to me, that was only five foot four inches tall. He was like a tall, bright pole while I was a small dog always looking up to him.

“Aren’t you like, super rich right now?” I said and he chuckled.

“Right, I am.” He said and I rolled my eyes.

“Aside from everything, how was the gig?” I asked and he shrugged.

“How can you ask that to a perfect man with a perfect band and perfect music? Of course it was great.” He said and I rolled my eyes again. The way he smirked made my heart flutter, the way his eye twitched every time he smiled made my breath stop. He was too perfect to be human, I have told him countless times.

“Great, Mr. Modesty, I am thrilled.” I said and he chuckled.

“Ali, I think I need your bed. I’m exhausted and this sofa is way too small for me.” He said as he sat up. I widened my eyes and shook my head quickly.

“You can’t sleep in my bed! I sleep there!”

“It hadn’t stopped us in the past, has it?” He said as he wiggled his eyebrows. I almost chocked on my saliva as I stood up, covering my breast.

“Nothing has happened before.” I said and he burst out laughing.

“You’re so easy to tease Alina, so easy.” He said while standing up. I gulped and shook my head, avoiding any eye contact with the core of my mental diseases and the countless screams and fangirling moments.

As I tried to control my unstable heart, I heard his footsteps retreating, and my eyes widened quickly. I turned around, only to see him falling on top of my bed. I felt my adrenaline rising as he got comfortable on my sheets, taking his shoes out. I stormed into my room, turning on the lights as I glared at him. “Andrew Dennis Biersack, get the fuck out of my room!” I yelled, but he simply smiled and rubbed his back on my pillows. Annoyance was rising like lava through my body, but his smiling, soft and bare face made the world stop.

A bare face, he wasn’t using any makeup, yet I thought he was. It was the dark circles under his eyes that made me thing he was wearing makeup. Dark circles that were there, showing the world how tired and exhausted Andy Biersack was. His life wasn’t easy, I knew better than anyone how hard his life was. He continued smiling as he slowly drifted into dreamland, I could tell by the slow rising of his chest, and the way he held onto the sheets, as if his life depended on it. He was always scared, scared of being alone, yet he always pushed everyone away because he was afraid of losing people he loved.

It was ironic, loving so deeply, yet being so miserable at the same time. Andy was always scared, and so was I. By a mysterious trick of fate, we met long years ago, both being afraid of the same things, yet showing the contrary. I was in a party, so was him. People bullied him that time, because he was the ‘weirdo’ and the fancy guy who wore thigh clothes and makeup. I found him incredibly attractive that time, so mysterious, so different, yet so easy to read and so normal.

He was, as he usually did, sitting at a sofa, watching everyone walk and make fun of him as he drank a beer. Maybe it was that time that he got addicted to it, or maybe it was even before that, he never told me, but that night, he was different. His face showed anger, showed pity and hatred, all at the same time. No one knew what was going on with him, the always shy guy being suddenly angry, scowling at everyone at the party while he carelessly drank his beer and smoked his cigarettes. I got curious, curious enough to walk up to him and ask him if he was alright. And as I expected, he scowled at me and told me to fuck my own business. I remember I laughed at him and sat next to him, looking at him with curious eyes as he continued to scowl at everyone else.

“What is it?” He hissed as I continued to look at him.

“You’re different tonight. Is everything alright?” I asked him. He scoffed and drank from his beer, resting his back on the sofa as he crossed his legs.

“I’m exhausted.” He said, his voice deep and husky. I found him extremely attractive that moment, not because of the way he hated everyone or the way he talked, but the way his pain showed behind his anger.

“Then why don’t you go home and rest?” I said, completely oblivious of the people who were watching him and laughing at his face. He scoffed once again and stood up, throwing the beer aside as he walked towards the people that were laughing at him. I followed him with my eyes as he stood in front of the guys who were laughing at him. I couldn’t hear what he said, if he said anything at all, but my heart jumped as I saw him throwing a punch right on the guy’s face.

I quickly stood up, running towards him as everyone gathered around, ready to kick his ass. “Andy!” I yelled as I tried to stop him, but he just went and continued to punch the man that had made his life miserable almost all his youth. I remember I tried to stop him, earning a punch on my own face, a punch he still ask for forgiveness, even now.

“Stop, stop it now!” I yelled as I held his arm, pulling him back with all my body weight. He fell back, with me holding him as my friends held the guy he was almost killing. Everyone stayed silent as Andy panted, glaring at the guy in front of him. His face was almost ruined, his lip tore and his eyes bleeding.

“Let go of me.” He hissed as he pushed me away, standing up and walking away. I looked at everyone else in the party, panting as well as I stood up. Jocelyn, my best friend, walked up to me and held me by my arm, checking my face.

“You have to go after him.” She said softly as she looked at my swelling eye. I nodded and ran out of the place, after him. His thin figure was almost disappearing in the darkness as I ran after him. He was going to the park, and I manage to catch up with him, holding his arm and turning him around. He looked at me with his blue eyes narrowed.

“What?” He hissed as I panted. I nodded and let go of his arm, nodding at him.

“I know why you did this, and I don’t blame you. I would’ve done the same. But I want to ask you something.” I said, and he weighted his body on one leg, looking at me with the same empty eyes. “Why?”

“Because,” He said and looked to the side, biting his lip. “I don’t know.”

“You don’t know?” I said and he nodded, looking at me with saddened eyes.

“Don’t hate me because of this.” He said. I chuckled and shook my head no.

“I could never.”

“You’re my first friend, of all people, not you Ali.” He said and I shook my head, holding his hands in mine.

“BFF’s means Best Friends Forever, so I’m here for you always.” I said, earning a smile from him.

And those words where my eternal curse. As I looked at him sleeping, I remembered all the things I loved him for, and all the things I hated him for. For more than eight years I have tried to hate him for all the things I love him. It was impossible. As it was impossible not to look at him as he peacefully slept. It was hard not to.

“Come sleep by my side.” He murmured as he moved to the side. I gulped and nodded, walking slowly until I reached the bed. He half opened his eyes and smiled, while I stopped breathing. “Like old times.” He murmured. I nodded again, falling once more in the miserable trap I have been my whole life. Falling miserably on my own doom.

Without any words, I laid down on bed, looking at the ceiling without moving an inch. I was afraid to move and accidentally touch him. Yet, he wasn’t that afraid, since he put his arm around me and hugged me. My heart stopped as he buried his head on my neck. He was huge next to me, yet he felt so small whenever he did things like this. “Andy…” I tried to murmur, only to be stopped when I felt him trembling next to me, and a few sobs made me nod in understanding. He needed me, and I, his best friend, would always be there for him.

“I can’t Ali, I can’t keep up.” He muttered. I nodded as a moved to the side, hugging him as I caressed the back of his head and he held me tighter. “Whenever I try to move forwards, something pushes me back and it’s getting tiring.”

“Don’t give up now Andy, you’ve achieved so many things, nothing is more important than making your dreams a reality, you’ve always said so.” I said softly as I caressed the back of his head. He had cut his hair, styling it in a messy Mohawk. But no matter what he did, he still looked gorgeous. Inhumanly gorgeous.

“What if those dreams are shattered?” He said and I pushed back, looking at him straight into his blue eyes. No matter how much it hurt myself having him like this, I had to endure it, he needed me, and my own feelings where nothing next to his wellbeing.

“Shattered?” I said, almost scoffing in disbelieve. “Nothing is shattered in your life Andy, nothing.”

“I don’t know why I’m doing this anymore.” He muttered, still looking at me straight into my eyes. I scoffed and shook my head, holding his face between my hands. If only his girlfriend knew, I bet she would bite my head off.

“For you, you’re doing this for you.” I said and caressed his forehead. For all I could remember, that simple gesture always calmed him, whenever he was anger, sad or simply too hyper, caressing his forehead calmed him in ways no one but him could explain. “Andy, you’re tired, stressed, I know the album isn’t coming out as you want it, but that doesn’t means you’re not the best. You always say it, you have to work hard, give out two hundred percent. Don’t let those demons haunt you, you’re better than that.” He smiled and nodded, hugging me again as he buried his face on my chest. I moved my hand to move his hair out of my face, since it was sticking up to my nose. I felt him letting out a sigh as he caressed my back, and my whole body trembled.

“I love how you can calm my demons so easily.” He muttered. I bit my lip, trying to control the pain inside of my chest.

“I do nothing more than hold you together, you do the rest.” I said and he smiled, pulling back and kissing my forehead.

“No one can ever get so into me like you do. Thank you Ali, thank you.” He said as he caressed my face. It was so normal for us to touch each other like this, even if I felt like dying, I always felt so secure, so comfortable in doing this, until she came. Until she came and they made couple tattoos, and he dedicated almost all his time with her. Everything change since she came into the picture, but I wasn’t jealous. No, he was happy, he seemed happy, even if, lately, he was always like this, somber, empty, in pain. Always creeping into my house at night, searching for comfort while his house was ‘full’, or so he said.

“It’s ok.” I muttered as he smiled and closed his eyes, moving his head so it would be comfortable on my pillow.

“I’m sorry.” He muttered, and I frowned.

“For what?”

“Missing your birthday.” He said and I chuckled.

“You were on tour, I don’t blame you.” I told him. He inhaled deeply, then let it all out, groaning a bit as he opened his eyes, looking at me with a frown.

“I’ll take you shopping. I owe you a gift.” He said. I widened my eyes and shook my head, gesturing with my hand.

“No, no and by all means no.” I said and he frowned again.

“Why not?” He said and I shook my head, moving my hair out of my face.

“Juliet.”

“What about her?” Andy said and I shrugged.

“I know she doesn’t likes it when we spent time together. Andy, don’t get on her nerves, you guys love each other.” I said and he rolled his eyes.

“Ali, if she loves me, she should understand this package comes with a best friend. So forget it, you’re coming with me shopping and that’s final.” He said. I tried to argue, but he moved so his back face me. A silent gesture of ending a conversation. I rolled my eyes as I too moved, so both our backs were facing each other. How much I hated whenever he did this?

“Fine, but bring CC along.” I muttered. He hissed, and I felt him moving, but I didn’t moved to look, simply closed my eyes and let out a sigh. He moved again, obviously trying to annoy me as he threw pillows over my side. I was going to chuckle, but he hissed louder, and I bit my lips, holding in my laughter.

“Fine.” He groaned. I smiled and nodded, hugging my pillow as I prayed for dear sleep to take over me. 

 

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Gily's Notes: Here's the Pilot Chapter... hope this works! I love Andy, and I love... LOVE Juliet Simms, so don't bash, this is just a fanfiction. There's so much more than the usual BFF/Crush relationship here. I promise!!

 

Please leave a good comment here, so I'll now if I should continue with this story or simply let it die in my documents xD

 

Happy Reading ~

Gily ♥