Happy Ending

 

The rain won't stop. The wind was cold and I sat alone on the corner of my bed inside my dimly lit room. I watched the curtains getting swept by the soft wind and I could see no stars in the night sky. How did I become so lonely like this that even the night sky is crying. I glanced at the clock on my table and it said two in the morning. I sighed and looked at my phone. Still no call. I miss him. I told myself that he was just busy on some meeting or something but it was hard lying to myself. I miss him so bad.  I miss sleeping beside him. I desperately want to lie down next to him and sleep in his arms again. No, not even have sex. Just lay there and sleep in the most innocent sense. God, I miss him. What should I do? 

 

I looked at him walking towards me in his black suit and black tie. I stared in awe. He was beautiful. Just the Ahn Jaehyun that I love. He smiled when he saw me. It was the smile I loved the most in this world. Everytime he smiled, it gave me so much strength and faith in myself. Everytime he smiled, I felt so warm and safe as if a magic coat came to me during the coldest time of winter. It was as if I found an oasis in the middle of the desert. 

And then I remembered the reason why I wanted to see him here. I remembered the thing I wanted to tell him. It was a week ago I went to my doctor and found out that I had liver cancer. I couldn't cry in front of the doctor and I didn't plan on crying in front of him, and that's why it sucked. I knew I was dying but I couldn't even cry in front of myself. 

"Hi baby." He kissed my left cheek and then sat down in front of me on the opposite chair. "Hi." I managed to fake a smile. 

"I know you have something to tell me but I have something to tell you first." He said after a generous gulp of Syrah. I nodded with a wry smile and mouthed an 'ok'. 

"We've decided to debut our new baby, Audi A4 in the second half of this year. Plus, the total of vehicle sales last year netted five-point-seven billion dollars in operating profit. And that is only ten percent of the total revenue even after making sure our Hugh Jackman is being fed by the latest models." he winked at me with victory visible in his face and voice. 

"That's very nice. Well the thing is—"

"And not just that. We've also added 5700 more jobs. Wow." he paused and took another gulp of of Syrah. "I think I'm getting an idea for a celebration." he smiled. But it felt different. For Jaehyun, his job always came first. I tried to understand that but at times like this, it was hard stopping myself from screaming. I wanted to get mad but I couldn't. I loved him so much. 

I looked down on my plate on the untouched steak and nodded withouth a word. 

"And you? How's work?" he asked, shoving a pieace of meat in his mouth. I let out a breath. "Good. I had another book signing event yesterday and I heard they printed more copies."

He shook his head with a smile and looked at me proudly. "As expected from my woman of career. How does a cruise trip to Bermuda sound? Tomorrow night. You go home, rest and get ready. I'll pick you up at 6." he looked at his watch. "I'm late for a board meeting. I'll see you tomorrow." Then he stood up. 

"Listen Jaehyun, I'm dying!" I half-shouted which made him freeze. He paused for a moment and then sat back down. "What?" 

I heaved a loud sigh. "I'm dying. It's cancer." I whispered, looking at him. 

He was silent. For a moment I thought he was gonna hug me and say 'It's alright. I'll always be with you' but I was wrong. 

"Well then, there's no more reason to see each other like this." His voice rang in my ears and I could not belive what I just heard. "What?" I asked not because I didn't hear him but because I wanted him to tell me that I heard it wrong and that he was joking. 

He shrugged. "You're dying. Go find someone else who's not busy and will take care of you for the rest of his life."

I could not believe it. God, please let this be a dream so when I wake up, all is well again.

"How..how could you dismiss our love so easily like that? Jaehyun, will your job always come first? Why can't I come first? Why?" I asked with anger. I needed answers but I knew the answers all along. And it was not the answer I wanted. 

He smirked. "Joy, the center of this relationship is career. I was your boyfriend with the very nice and stable job and you were my girlfriend with the writing career that the whole world admires. It's been like that all along."

I gave him a look of disgust. "I thought God was the center of this relationship."

"Joy, if there was a god in this relationship, I am him." 

My mouth slightly opened. I wanted to say so much but I was speechless. How did this guy become a monster? And I wondered...was this the same guy I fell in love with?

I shook my head lightly. "I thought it was love." I didn't look at him. I was busy fighting back my tears. 

He scoffed. "Really, Joy? Love? Don't make me laugh. I'll buy you with my money."

"I thought you said you love me, Jaehyun." 

He sighed loudly, wiping his lips with the napkin. "See, that's the problem with you. That's the problem with people like you who mean all the things you say. You think everybody else does, too." And then he stood up and left. Tears started to fall down from my eyes but I managed to stop it. It was so not like me to cry. I was never a cry baby. Crying was for the weak, mom said. Nothing was ever achieved by tears. So I bowed down and prayed. I asked for strength and courage. Then I stood up and followed him. I grabbed his wrist and he turned around to look at me. 

"Please...tell me this is just a dream." I looked at him with teary eyes, trying my last best to stop him.

"Grow up, Joy." he removed my hand from his.

"Please..." was all I could say. I looked at him again and he did the same. For a moment he stared back into my eyes and I wished he saw my sincerity and everything I would put in the line to make him stay. I must've looked really pathetic but I didn't care. "I wonder how I survived all this time without you. I don't know when it started either, but now I can't be without you. I can't live without you, Jaehyun." I said between sobs. 

Suddenly, his eyes turned ice cold. Cold and merciless. It felt like a monster was in front of me. 

"Then die." And just like that, he left and went on his way. I watched his back sadly as it became further and further away just like the stars I wanted to hold. He became further and further away until I couldn't see him anymore. Not even his light that once became my torch in the tunnel of my journey. This was even worse than liver cancer. I don't know why they call it a heartbreak. It feels like every other part of my body is broken too. After all, it's easier to say "I have cancer" than to say "My heart is broken". And that no matter how much I wanted...no matter how much I asked for it, there will never be a happy ending. I wiped my tears and turned around, thinking that if this were a fairytale, he was the prince and I was the witch.