"Barely Even Human" Sassy Pants Edition

 

Barely Even Human

 

The unnies rarely let the dongsaengs in on their problems, but Yoona witnesses both Hyoyeon and Tiffany pull Jessica aside and how upset the three are afterwards. When she asks what happened, none of them will tell her. She takes her frustrations out on Jessica both nights, sucking and nibbling on her to the point Jessica wakes up in tears, but too disoriented to understand what’s happening. Yoona re-stifles the blonde’s consciousness anyway. For further punishment, she preys on Jessica almost every night from then on too. Yoona wonders if she should go the whole way and use the roofies for their usual purpose. No, she couldn't do that. This is about soothing hurt, not creating it, though she’d admit to not worrying too much when pain’s involved on Jessica’s end; transferring hurt to another person is how Yoona deals with it.

And the older girl has always been a good outlet, for everyone- easy to make laugh or cry, ridiculously soft-hearted no matter how hard she tries to hide it, unable to hold a grudge, trusting, a little air-headed, insecure, dependent- she accepts what other people do to her without a real fight or lasting resentment because at her core, Jessica just wants to be liked. In short, Jessica is perfect, barely even human.

Best of all, Yoona trusts Jessica, when Yoona doesn’t really trust anyone. She’s seen the girl at her worst, and it wasn’t even bad. Jessica is particularly unable to hurt or hate Yoona. One of Yoona’s favorite memories with Jessica is when the blonde actually became furious with her and yelled that she’d never speak to Yoona ever again. But when Yoona asked her the time a minute later, Jessica answered reflexively. Then she giggled like crazy and hugged Yoona tightly. She noogied Yoona, but that was the harshest Jessica could bring herself to be with her favorite SoShi dongsaeng. Yoona doesn’t have to be perfect around Jessica either, which is the rarest and nicest thing in the world to her.

Yoona brings the latest glass of roofied lemon-water to Jessica.

To her utter shock, Jessica adamantly refuses it. It’s not the first time she’s declined, but it is the first time she sticks to it. “I said ‘No thank you,’ Yoongie.”

“What? B-But I need you to! …drink this so you can sleep! Y-You need to sleep!”

“I don’t want it, Yoona. …I don’t think it works for me. I sleep worse after I drink that.” Tiffany was not the only one to notice the correlation. “I think I might be allergic to it too,” she adds softly upon seeing the danger in Yoona’s eyes.

“H- How… How did you- It- It’s just-”

“Yoona, I know that’s not just water.”

“H…How… Who?” She can’t search Jessica’s downcast eyes for the answer.

“I’m not as stupid as everyone thinks I am, Im Yoona,” Jessica says with quiet defiance. “You just confirmed the truth, anyway.”

“The truth?”

“That it’s not just water. You said I need to drink it so I can sleep. …You’re pulling the Super Junior trick on me, aren’t you? Don’t lie. You know I am closer to them than the rest of you girls are.”

“I… I…” Yoona knows there’s no way but to come clean, only a little of course. She hangs her head, “Yes. I’m sorry, Unnie. I was just trying to help.”

“You’re sweet,” Jessica pulls Yoona’s head close and uses her lips on the girl’s forehead to tilt it back, “and I thank you, but no thanks anymore.”

“But… but… Unnie…”

“Good night, Yoong,” Jessica says with tired finality, attempting to close her door. She gives a pitiful whine when Yoona tries too hard to prevent this and accidentally hits her with the door.

Yoona forces her way into the room and puts the glass down. “I’m sorry, Unnie,” she hugs Jessica. “But …can’t I stay here with you?”

“Sorry, Yoongie, but I'd rather not. Not tonight. I need you to go to your own room now,” Jessica rubs her sore temple.

Yoona plunks herself onto the floor before she can manhandle Jessica onto the bed; that would be hard to talk her way out of. Crossing her arms and legs, she glares petulantly at Jessica. “No! I’m staying here!” she says in an aegyo-tantrum.

Jessica slumps to the floor to hug her and try to pull Yoona to her feet but soon gives up. “I’m too tired. Do what you want,” she sighs, trudging to her bed.

“I will,” Yoona grins. She pulls a cloth and a tiny tube of chloroform from her sweater pocket, there from necessity. Jessica’s probably building an immunity to the roofie; she wakes up often now. How to ether Jessica when she’s fully awake is a bit of an issue in Yoona’s mind, but the younger girl realizes she can just wait until Jessica falls asleep to put the cloth over her nose and mouth. …Hm, maybe not. How would Yoona knows when it’s worked? Craftily, she squeezes out a few drops of the liquid near the collar of her pajama top under her jaw, where she herself won’t smell it so much. She climbs into Jessica’s bed and hugs the girl, careful to position herself properly, and holds the blonde in place once she starts squirming until she stops. It only takes a few seconds. Yoona licks the blood coming from Jessica’s nose, her favorite taste.

 

#

 

Yoona knows she has to find a way to let Jessica in on the nightly suckling. “Hey, don’t worry about it being awkward, I’ve secretly been doing it for months and love it… and you even liked it too, until I hurt you bad enough to make you freak out and have amnesia,” doesn’t seem the best way to broach the subject or make Jessica comfortable with it, but things are getting to the wire.

The ever-worsening effects the long-term roofie and ether use have on Jessica are becoming all too apparent. The girl is more spacey and forgetful, her reaction times even slower, and she causes her famous Sica effect a lot more often, than usual. She suffers for it all too, getting mocked or scolded frequently, neither of which is pleasant to witness, and definitely not to be the cause of. Jessica cries much more in recent days as well, increasingly worried about something she keeps to herself. Maybe it has to do with her ever-pallid skin tone, rapid weight loss, fainting spells, nosebleeds, and hair falling out, all of which Jessica tries desperately to hide and downplays when she can’t hide it.

The final alarm blares when, “Time’s way past up!” Tiffany’s loud voice carries from the living room into Yoona’s. “Are you kidding me? I’m taking you to a clinic right now!”

“What time?! What clinic?! I don’t know what you’re talking about!” Jessica answers heatedly.

“Jessica! Don’t you remember?! You’re seriously worrying me! Something’s really wrong with you!”

“That’s not nice, Stephanie! …Stop it! Leave me alone already!”

“I didn’t meant it that way! Jessica, please! How could you forget something so important?! You’ve gotta remember!”

“No I don’t! Let go of me! I don’t want to go with you!” Jessica panics when she recognizes the familiar feeling of being about to be forced into something against her will. “NO! LET GO! MOMMY! MOMMY, HELP!” she screams and cries.

Yoona debates herself on whether or not to let everyone know she’s there too. She tries to remember who else is home. Finally, she can’t stand not knowing what’s going on and goes to the living room; the sudden silence disquiets her worse than the screaming did.

She finds Sunny holding Jessica in her lap as if Jessica’s a small child. “There, there, Sweetie; it’s okay. You’re okay.”

Jessica sobs like a small child would too.

Sunny seamlessly plays along. “You’re okay, Baby, Unnie’s here. Ssh, Unnie’s here. Unnie’ll keep you safe.”

Yuri tends to Tiffany, who’s sagging into her embrace, crying with her hands over her eyes in a reflection of Jessica. All Yuri can do for her friend is hold and rock her.

“Yoona!” Sunny brightens at the sight of the new arrival into the room. “Call an ambulance,” she says softly but seriously, covering Jessica’s ears.

Several strands of the girl’s hair comes out over Sunny’s hands.

“Yoona, now!” Sunny says more urgently when Yoona stands there dumbly.

“May-Maybe I ou-ought to get a manager-oppa first,” the youngest gets herself to say.

“No,” Sunny says, dead serious. “Someone’s been abusing her. For all we know, it could be one of them. And I don’t want SM interfering either way.” Papa SM is her uncle, but she knows how the man and his company are, putting reputation and money over the idols' wellbeing.

Tiffany interrupts at that moment. “What? Someone’s been hurting Jessi?”

YoonYul look on in horror.

“Don’t ask how I know; I just do. I’m sure of it now. Besides, that’s not important. What is important is that she’s having a breakdown and needs help. …Im Yoona, if I have to ask you one more time-”

Yoona scurries to obey.

 

#

 

Ninja. I am a freaking ninja. While going to get her phone, Yoona grabs it straight away, powers it off, ties her hair back, douses her bulkiest winter gloves in chloroform, and puts them in her hoodie pocket. “Where’s my phone?!” she screams in that time. She also checks the time and sees she has plenty before anyone else is due home. Lastly, she brings out her sodium amytal “insurance policy” to leave behind for now. “Got it! Finally!” she shouts again for the other girls’ benefit.

Going back to them, she pretends to be on the phone with emergency services. She puts a note of panic into her voice and loudly says, “We’re at… we’re at… oh, Unnies! I can’t think! What’s our address?”

Her distress sets off JeTi’s renewed wailing and SunRi becoming too absorbed in caring for them so neither helper turns to Yoona. Sunny manages to fire off the answer too.

“Thanks, Unnie!” Yoona exclaims in pathetic appreciation before relaying the information to no one. Then she dons the gloves and pounces on YulTi from behind. All they see are her manly gloves, easily overpowered by Yoona’s strength and the element of surprise. Once Yoona gets them carefully laid out on the floor where they stood, she moves on to SunSica.

Sunny is a strong one, but also very distracted at the moment. Jessica’s in no state to comprehend the situation, so Yoona grabs her younger unnie only. Using one arm to lock Sunny’s to her chest and her back to Yoona’s chest, Yoona makes it impossible for her to fight back. When Sunny yelps and tries to stand, Jessica falls off her lap screaming and scrambles over to the wall without looking back. Yoona then slams her other hand over Sunny’s nose and mouth. The older girl struggles hard but is no match for Yoona. She too goes down in less than a minute.

Yoona then doses Yul2Ny with the sodium amytal and tries out its properties of creating false memories. She speaks to the three girls hypnotically, hoping to influence their minds and make it so they don’t remember any of the goings-on just now. She also gets the truth out of Tiffany on what the fight about the time and clinic meant while Sunny dreamily tells Yoona what led to her suspicions so Yoona can lay them to rest. The drug seems to be working more than satisfactorily. Lastly, Yoona drags her unnies back to their bedrooms and hefts them onto their beds. She undresses them to what they would normally wear to nap in the middle of the day, and leaves each untouched sexually and cozy in her bed. Well, maybe she enjoys them a little.

In the time she takes moving her unnies around, she keeps visual surveillance on Jessica, the blonde trembling and blindly clinging to the wall in silence the entire time. Perhaps Yoona won’t need to drug her. “Hi Unnie,” she says sweetly, crouching down next to her unnie glove-free.

The clarity showing in Jessica’s slow-to-open eyes is rare as of late and alarming. “What did you do to them? …Please, Yoona, don’t do it to me too. Please don’t hurt me anymore.”

“Unnie, I didn’t hurt them,” Yoona laughs warmly. “I was helping them. Don’t you want my help too? I came in here because you screamed for it.”

“Nooo,” Jessica begs, weakly trying to push the taller girl away, “please, please.”

Yoona stands up and holds out a hand, “Come on, Unnie, get up. Let’s go to my room. I want to tell you secrets.”

Jessica hesitates at the manic grin presented to her.

“What I’m going to tell you will get rid of all your fears, even the ones you had before today too.”

The answer to her months-long prayers before her, she falls back into her childlike state, innocently trusting and following Yoona to grace. Her new-found clarity drains away; she abandons it.

 

#

 

Yoona continues emulating Sunny since the treatment calmed Jessica so. “Come on, Sweetie,” she pulls the girl up. “…Oh, but wait. You’ve been very sick lately, haven’t you?” Yoona chides her with crossed arms and a cute pout.

The smaller girl doesn’t seem sure but nods solemnly anyway.

“You didn’t tell me, when I could have taken care of you. But now that I know, I got some medicine for you and I need you to drink it, okay?”

Again, Jessica nods mutely.

Yoona pinches her cheek and pats her head. “That’s my good girl. Now, this medicine has a bitter taste, but if you are very good, I will give you candy when you finish it.”

The girl starts to grin shyly. “Really, Unnie?”

Yoona’s eyebrows shoot up at the honorific, but she kisses Jessica’s forehead to keep her unafraid. “Yes, Baby, I promise.”

“Okay!” Jessica grins playfully, giving Yoona great joy.

Yoona sits her down in the kitchen and goes about making the last batch of barbiturate for the day. She then leaves to get the promised candy.

Jessica stands to follow her.

“You stay here. I’ll be right back.”

The small girl sidles up to the bigger girl and slips her hand into Yoona’s, letting her eyes and gestures do the talking.

“What’s wrong, Honey?”

“…I wanna go with you.”

“It’s okay, Baby. I’ll be right back.”

Jessica whimpers. “Don’t like to be alone,” she mumbles. “Please can I go with you?”

“Hmm,” Yoona pretends to think about it. She turns around before surprising Jessica and boosting the girl onto her back.

Jessica squeals, wrapping her arms snuggly around Yoona’s neck and pressing her face to it.

“You’re so cute, Sica,” Yoona coos.

The only response she gets is giggles.

Yoona holds up three small candy packages once she digs them out from her own dresser, “Which one do you want?”

Jessica doesn’t answer.

“Heeey,” Yoona laughs. “No sleeping, Sleepyhead. Not yet.”

Jessica groggily lifts her head.

“Which one?”

“Unnie,” the girl drops her face back into Yoona’s hair.

Yoona jiggles her.

“Uhh-uh,” Jessica whines, cuddling closer. “Want Unnie.”

“But which candy do you want?” Yoona waves the packages over her shoulder.

Jessica fumbles for them without looking and knocks them out of Yoona’s hand to hold it in her own. “Unnie,” she says again.

“Alright.” The younger girl carries Jessica down the hall instead once she sees the time. Unnie’s so lucky-unlucky having a roommate who’s never home, she thinks.

 

#

 

Should I do it or not? Yoona wonders, holding the glass in her hand a few minutes later. She has to, what if Jessica wakes up altered? All Yoona’s work today would go to waste then. Hopefully this’ll be the last time I need to use it. Quickly, she scribbles out a note to leave on the counter. “Sica-unnie and I are resting in her room. I finally got her to sleep peacefully! V^_^ 10 points to Im Choding, the true lead vocalist of SNSD! Please don’t wake us up! Love you unnies! -Yoongie,” it says.

She brings the chemical solution to Jessica, who had stayed in her bed without fuss, too sleepy to protest any longer. “Here Baby, sit up. I got your medicine for you.”

Jessica whines but tries to obey.

Yoona worms an arm under her friend’s shoulder blades so that she won’t choke. Pressing the glass to Jessica’s lips, she coaxes the girl to keep drinking when she balks at the smell and taste. 

Jessica tries to turn her face away a few times, starting to cry weakly, but always ends up submitting to Yoona’s nonverbal insistence. She never opens her eyes.

The black-haired and hearted girl rubs Jessica’s far arm, hushing and comforting her until the glass is empty. “Oh, what a good girl,” she says at last, kissing Jessica all over her sweet face. “I’m so proud of you, Baby.”

That ends Jessica’s tears and though she grimaces and smacks her lips a few times, she snuggles back into Yoona’s shoulder and cheek once Yoona sets the glass down. “I did good? You love me now?” she slurs, barely awake.

“I do. I love you very much,” Yoona assures her honestly. “I don’t…don’t think I’ve ever told you, or anyone else, this before, but…”

The blonde perks up slightly, never too tired to receive praise. She giggles, “Buuuut…”

“But you’re my favorite person in the whole world. …I’m so sorry I wasn’t very nice to you lately,” the tall girl climbs into bed next to her idol.

Jessica cuddles up to her immediately. “Yo’w ve’wy nice t’ me, Unnie…”

Yoona strokes the girl’s hair, trying not to cry. “I’m… not going to do bad things to you ev- for a long time, okay?”

“…Okay?”

“Jessica-unnie, you’re not scared anymore,” Yoona starts speaking in a lulling manner once enough time has gone by. “You feel completely safe… especially with me! You’re not worried at all about cancer or anything like that. Nuh-uh. …You,” she verbally stumbles, not having had time to think the whole thing through yet. “You remember that… you’ve been hand-washing your bras with a special detergent a fan sent you. Yes, that’s it. You didn’t know that it was an anti-fan and they put some sort of irritant in the detergent; I helped you figure that out. …They gave it to you when you were out alone like we tell you not to go do. You're not going to do that anymore, by the way. Oh, and you’re a sweetie, so you don’t want the matter pursued. We already flushed the rest of the detergent and got rid of its container.

“…And the reason you’ve been so pale and spacey and stuff is because of your anemia. Krystal has it worse in small bouts, but you get flare-ups that …make you worse overall for a while, especially when you’re stressed. It’s just been a long time since the last time it happened so severely so you didn’t remember until now… I reminded you! B-because you finally told me how sick you’ve been. You really need me, Unnie, so you told me. You’re not going to leave me out of any ‘unnie stuff’ anymore either! You can leave Maknae out if you wanna, but not me. …

“Oh, I know! We think you have a temporary sleep disorder too. That’s why you’ve been acting so weird mentally; you can’t sleep at night and you dream when you’re awake and so get confused. We just have to get you sleeping better, which you will from now on. Nothing to worry about!”

Yoona realizes she stopped speaking hypnotically a while ago, so she goes back to that voice, repeating the important bits of her speech over and over for half an hour. She makes sure Jessica comprehends and can repeat it perfectly too. Then she lets the both of them just sleep.

 

*Yeah, this is what having more than 1,300 subscribers, that same number come and go, and fewer than 10 respond in any real way is like. The exit's that way. ^