Our Friendship

Our Friendship

 

|| "There comes a point in your life when you realize who really matters, who never did, and who always will." ||

 

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"On that dire day of June 25th, year 2011, a girl came to my classroom. With a doll-like appearance, the boys in my class swoon almost immediately when she popped her head at the door. From that incident, little did I know that I'll be meeting my dear Californian of a best friend, and non-biological twin sister." 

 

Twin Sister. These words rang in my ears as I swallowed my tears and insecurities and continued to read further, though it's killing me inside.

 

"In those three years, please make her happy, and not make her cry in any case. I want her to tell me stories of happiness. Make happy memories of your Junior and Senior year, because she definitely made my Senior year overwhelming."
 

I, The girl in front of the screen of her laptop smiled sadly, as I finished reading the post of my 'best friend' with the tag of another name. Tears welled up my eyes.

 

"She had never been like that to me," I sobbed.
 

"I was always her slave," I choked as I remembered what my 'new' best friends told me. I tried to muffle my sobs, I don't want anyone, even my mom, to know that I am crying over this - A small thing for others.

 

Honestly, I don't know why I'm even feeling this sadness. Maybe because I'm used to her having only me. Maybe it's sefishness but I don't care. All I knows is I'm hurt. Up to the point where I'm sobbing causing my pillow to be wet.

 

I don't have anything against the girl my 'best friend' dedicated the post to. I, genuinely, treated her not as a guest, but a friend. As said in the post, the girl was from another country. She was a girl who lives a sea away from us, the students of the class she sat in. We first met her when she was dropped by her mom at our class, telling us that she will be our classmate for a month or so when we were in our 2nd year of high school. We couldn't be more excited of meeting her again after she left . After two years, she came back and as she did, things changed. No, SHE changed. My Best Friend did. maybe I am at fault, too because I distanced myself from her, too. I admit it, i am insecure to her. She have all the talents I don't: She can dance, I can't. She can sing, I have a terrible voice. She can play the piano, not even in my dreams could I learn playing the instrument. She is the Officer in Chief of our School's Paper while I... I didn't get to pass the qualifying exam. Awful, right? Yes, I know. I am awful for being insecure to my best friend for 6 years. But this is maybe because I am not strong. Maybe because I changed that's why I've become worst. I've changed that's why I am crying, right now knowing she is building her own life.

 

I remembered that one time. Everyone was talking about her. Issues here and there are flying everywhere because of her cheating in our exams and quizzes. I knew that she was doing that all along. Heck, she even asked me to write down the important detils in a paper! She even asked me to write the answers for her to be able to pass the exams! Yes, I am her 'slave', that's what my other set of best friend's told me. It got me thinking about all that had happened in the past and I realized that I am. I am her 'Slave'. 

 

All the critiscms and all the insults I got from her. All the mean things I got from them, flashed my mind and it made me cry. It made me cry because I knew I fooled myself. I fooled myself all along. I wanted to belong that's why I let them insult me and control me and maybe that's why I lost myself. That's why I almost comitted suicide. They are the reason for my misery. They are the reason for the low self-esteem.

 

I am laughing bitterly at myself, right now because I even blamed my own family. Those bitter misery was because of them all along and I hate myself for being a fool believing that they were my friends. 

 

It was just now, that I realized who really matters and who never did. Who should I value and who should I throw and leave. 

 

They treated me as a junk for so long. I wouldn't let them to throw me. I would value myself from now on.